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Saturday thoughts: By May 10th, Richmond had fell. It’s a time I remember oh so well

November 15, 2009

There is something to be said for sure things.

We came into this weekend obviously expecting Lowell to go ahead and steamroll Alabama-Huntsville. We were admonished that perhaps a pair of games would show us the error of our ways, that Huntsville was and is a stronger team than we were giving them credit for, that they had just taken the No. 1 team in the PWR to overtime twice in a row, that no one could possibly be as bad as we were making them out to be. In the Weekend Preview, we called for an aggregate win of six goals, saying there was no excuse for anything less than that.

We were, of course, right. Just like always.

While we were not able to actually watch this game, we checked on the score updates regularly and much to our delight saw that Lowell was indeed going to carry us to our desired goal differential. Ben Holmstrom scored 5:31 into the game, and we were delighted. Just 46 seconds later, Kory Falite made it 2-nil to the boys in red and we knew then that this game was going to get ugly. When David Vallorani scored 6:21 after that, and it was 3-0 to Lowell just 12:38 into the game, well, we began patting ourselves fervently on the back.

It’s not that we have some sort of hyperinflated sense of what Lowell is and what it can do. We know exactly what Lowell can do, and our hockey brilliance has, once again, shown itself.

Let’s get one thing straight here: the only reason last night’s game didn’t end 10-0 is because Lowell took its foot off the gas in a very real and obvious way. We’re sorry, but Lowell scoring three goals in 12:38 and then only one in the remaining 47:22 tells us that the team felt the death blow had been delivered, and it kind of felt bad for a team that may not even exist after this year.

Frankly, only losing 4-0 makes the game look a bit more even than it was. Shots were 31-19. Lowell had seven power plays, and, though it failed to score on them, that’s less an indictment of its man-up prowess or evidence that the Huntsville defense somehow worked wonders, and more a case of “it’s just one of those things.” A 28.something percent power play is, let’s face it, unsustainable, and thus Lowell was bound to have a weekend in which it went 0-fer. Is it unfortunate that it came against such a painfully subaverage team? Sure, but let’s look at this pragmatically: one of UAH’s… err, sweatier fans left a comment after Friday night’s game saying, “Where was that stellar power play? It certainly didn’t show up on our ice tonight.”

WELL GOLLLLLLLLLLY, JIM-BOB! You sure showed us. If you want to look at the weekend as a whole, we guess it’s just too bad that Lowell will have to settle for taking “your ice” and making it theirs to the tune of a 7-1 combined win, outshooting your team 64-39, and generally making your Chargers look like a high school team. Lowell simply carried play for almost all of the weekend and the fact that UAH got one goal to show for it really isn’t that eye-opening.

That Lowell ONLY outshot you by an average of 12.5 shots a night is some sort of miracle. That it only averaged a three-goal win is nothing more than a happy coincidence. We don’t begrudge you the ability to talk a little bit of junk about accidentally killing 13 penalties (insofar as Lowell simply didn’t score, and not that you prevented it from scoring). Do it all you like. But at the end of the day, know this: you still have just three wins from 10 games this season, you still have an eye-bleedingly awful power play, you can’t score, and you can’t win.

Lowell is so much better than your terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad team that this weekend was not even worth playing. We’ll take the two wins, sure, but we’re quite glad that we will never have to play you again. You can only embarrass someone so much before it stops being fun.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Monty permalink
    November 15, 2009 5:29 pm

    Anyone know where Catie and her “I sincerely hope that UAH does skate all over your players turning them into pretty red confetti to decorate the ice.” went?

  2. S.F. Wemewithe permalink
    November 15, 2009 7:36 pm

    Catie probably realized that she had no idea what she was talking about, and that it would be in her best interest to leave the hockey talk to the men. You know, lest these demoralizing losses over the weekend upset her fragile demeanor.

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