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USCHOmbudsman: idk my bff joe bertagna?

February 14, 2008

The internet, so we’ve been told, is all about brevity. Why take the time to type out “haha” when you can cut out a keystroke and type “lol?” It shaves literally a few hundredths of a second off your busy day, and you can devote that time to finding out when the new, exciting Nintendo DS game comes out, or whatever nerds spend their time doing.

Personally, we don’t play those games. Our text messages are full of words that aren’t found iTapens because we’re 1) highly literate, and 2) stubborn. We are resistant to the idea of spending
our time ROFLOAO and txting r bffs 4 fun. We, however, are in an ever-shrinking minority.

USCHO, of course, is part and parcel in this sickening movement. The attention span of the average 20-something college kid is shrinking all the time (not that we have the facts to back this up), but now a topic has emerged for those in the famous internet tubes to “describe your team’s season in only six words.”

The Hockey East fans that tackled the Herculean effort of rubbing together their sparse synapses and composing an entire six-word description have been surprisingly astute in summing up their teams’ campaigns to this point. Further thought, of course, would likely have exhausted them mentally (and, in the case of the more rotund fans, physically), causing them to mash their keyboards angrily and furrow their brows until one could grow some of the smaller root vegetables in them. But congratulations where they’re due: you knuckle-draggers nailed it.

Here, then, is a random sampling of one post from each team’s fanbase.

Boston College (via SteveF):

Freshman, Gerbe, Ties, Bradford, Motherwell, Appletini

Accurate, and we award you bonus points for the Colbert Report reference.

UNH (via WildShawn):

Mike Radja is better than you

Unless you’re Nate Gerbe.

Maine (via acs64):

Season ticket for sale. Face Value

Surprisingly hysterical.

Boston University (via newbieBUfan):

Coaches still in the 20th Cnetury.

Spelling error aside (how’s that $40k/yr education working out?), at least BU fans are finally accepting the long-held criticisms of Parker that we’ve been hearing for years.

Vermont (via funnnnn):

Hockey? Is that what this is?

Has been for the last two years, too. You might want to clue Sneddon in.

Providence (via Jon):

Dump and watch? Long long gone!

We’re sad to see it go. That was six easy points.

Northeastern (via Chickens@NU):

What the HELL is going on?

Our sentiments exactly.

Next week: “Describe your team in haiku?”

One Comment leave one →
  1. Joe Grav permalink
    February 14, 2008 7:28 am

    this is one of the best college hockey blogs i’ve ever read. props.

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